Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
