i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
