coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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