Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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