the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
