I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
