I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
