ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
home. puking in laundry basket.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
