let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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