You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
