So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
