Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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