i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
