When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Randomize
