I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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