so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
