so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
