So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My breasts were aching with rage.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
