i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So squirting runs in the family.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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