well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
