Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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