But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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