just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
