so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize