Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
