I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
