Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
