God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
