He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
