Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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