Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
