you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
