it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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