well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
