I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
