is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
BRING THE BAGELS
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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