Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
