The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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