i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
