That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
