just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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