I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
only you would photoshop your dick
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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