I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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