i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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