I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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