Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
