My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
