dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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