soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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