There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How naked do you want me to be?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
