fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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