3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
